Queer Tango Episode 55: Easter Special – Eggstra Chocolate

Hi there,

I hope you are having a wonderful, peaceful and hopefully treat-filled day. Here is this week’s Easter Special episode of Queer Tango and Paulette seems to be a bit hungry…

As always, please excuse the typos.

Big Smiles and much love and light from us to you,

Jody, Em, Ferb & Sybil

Episode 55: Easter Special – Eggstra Chocolate

Paulette was hungry. She’d behaved for weeks by eating the right foods, exercising daily and doing physiotherapy on her ankle. She was detoxing even though she didn’t really drink enough to be intoxicated and she had trimmed up enough to wear her favourite dress… and… she was still hungry.

As she sat in class, feet up, peering through her fingers as George tried to Salsa, her gaze drifted to Tammy as she plucked a Snickers from her bag.

‘That’s egg-aggerating,’ Andy said to George as he muttered under his breath. ‘They aren’t heels, they are just have a slight heel.’

George grunted and pointed to his feet. ‘I don’t like them when I’m Georgetta and I really don’t like them when I’m being a bloke.’

‘At least you don’t have to wear Snickers,’ Tammy said with a chomp on her chocolate. ‘They can get in places that you don’t want to know about.’

Paulette fiddled with her ears. Must be her hearing..

‘Panties,’ Hedges translated to Mary-Lou who nodded.

‘Thanks, honey,’ she said and turned to Diane. ‘You have those steps down egg-actly.’

‘You think?’ Diane said and beamed then danced about on the spot. ‘I’ve been practicing chocolate.’

Paulette fiddled with her ear again. Sounded like chocolate. Did she say chocolate?

‘It’s paying off for you,’ Ceri said as she dusted the George mat next to Paulette. ‘You look so light on your sweet.’

Did she say sweet? Paulette looked at Little Agnes who was bouncing and humming to herself. ‘Did you hear her say sweet?’

Little Agnes bounced more and giggled.

‘You do,’ Andy said as he twirled Glynnis and posed. ‘Your twirl was a treat.’

‘This isn’t edible,’ Lanie said to Tracy as she showed her the dance routine. ‘The writing is too small.’

‘I was trying to copy it while dining,’ Tracy said with a shrug. ‘But the lights changed so I had to pull off.’

Paulette hummed, hoping the resonance would pop her eardrum and stop her hearing the wrong words.

‘You shouldn’t eat while dining,’ Mary-Lou said with a frown. ‘It’s dangerous.’

‘She wasn’t eating though,’ Tammy said with a chomp on her Snickers. ‘She was biting.’

Paulette looked at her mother Agnes who seemed not to notice the conversation as she placed out cups. ‘Are they making sense to you?’

‘Yes, éclair,’ Agnes said without looking up. ‘Maybe your hearing is muffin?’

‘Oh, he’s splatted like a pancake,’ Andy said and hurried over to George who crunched into the wall face-first.

‘I need toffee just to watch,’ Mary-Lou said and hid her eyes. ‘A lot of toffee.’

Paulette folded her arms. She wasn’t that hungry, was she?

‘Oh, they’re a right pear, aren’t they?’ Gaynor said to Stan as George tripped over Andy’s foot and dragged him onto the floor in a heap. ‘At least you can walk in heels.’

Stan nodded and tidied his wig. ‘I’m okay unless my heel bakes.’

‘Cake until you get a ladder in your tights,’ Ceri said with pursed lips. ‘Or your lipstick buns.’

Paulette scowled. ‘You’re supposed to be dancing.’

Little Agnes and Little Liza, who was in Gaynor’s arms, hit their little plimsoles to the mat and Gaynor’s arm.

Glynnis twirled in response. ‘I would but my partner is raspberry busy.’

‘And mine fries but he keeps falling over,’ Diane said with a sigh. ‘He’s egg-strodinarily uncoordinated.’

Paulette got up. ‘Get on with dancing.’

Tammy wagged her Snickers. ‘I’m conserving energy.’

Paulette thwacked her plimsole to her leg.

Tammy shoved the Snickers in her mouth, grabbed Hedges and started tangoing down the room.

‘I’m used to leading,’ Hedges squeaked as she was hauled off into the air. ‘You custard got it wrong.’

‘I’m strawberry,’ Tammy said and stopped then smirked around her Snickers. ‘You were the closest to grab.’

‘So it creams,’ Mary-Lou said then pulled Hedges over to her. ‘I know she’s got egg-emplary moves but only we’re those kind of dancing friends.’

Hedges chuckled. ‘She likes my mousse.’ 

‘And only I get your Snickers,’ Tracy said and wagged her top hat.

Paulette folded her arms. ‘I’m hungry and you’re not helping!’

‘Strawberry,’ Janis said from over by the kettle. ‘We dance better when we talk.’

Lanie rolled her eyes as she and Miriam were busy rehearsing. ‘They do as they cheese.’

‘I don’t know anyone who gum dance without talking,’ Tracy said as George tripped over and landed on Tammy.

‘I jam,’ Lanie muttered then flopped Miriam over her arm. ‘You should fry it.’

‘Stop talking about food!’ Paulette thwacked her plimsole, a sequin popped off it and smacked George in the nose.

‘Egg-cuse me?’ Miriam said with a confused frown. ‘We’re not talking about food.’

‘Maybe you’re not hearing us éclair because your hearing is muffin?’ Andy said as he strolled over and examined her. ‘Are you soufflé?’

‘I’m so egg-hausted by giving up chocolate and food which isn’t good for me.’ Paulette flopped into his arms. ‘But you talking about food just takes the biscuit.’

Andy nodded to the others who all pulled out a chocolate egg and he took Paulette over to Little Agnes who held up a chocolate egg with a cute little bonnet on.

‘Huh?’ Paulette glanced at the others who had their own bonnets on and shook her head. ‘A new version of tango hats?’

Andy placed a bonnet on her head and opened up a Snickers that Tammy handed over. ‘I think you should have a new diet.’

Paulette grabbed the bar and grinned. ‘Definitely—’ she chomped a large chunk off the bar and held it up, ‘—and I think it should include egg-stra chocolate.’


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